The Colony

I just recently finished watching Discovery’s first attempt at a post-apocalyptic realtity show, “The Colony”. The Colony takes place in an abandoned post apocalyptic section of an area just off of Los Angeles. Firstly, this premise is AWESOME. The whole idea is so awesome. And perfect timing too, as I had just finished The Road before seeing the ad on Discovery. Now, just a heads up to anyone… this isn’t a realistic show in the slightest. This is a semi-reality show, and I’m not even talking about the whole premise, I’m talking about the “Marauder” gangs that attack them, the 3D rendered skyline, etc. Now, the show begins with a group of people [all kept awake for 30 hours] walking down the LA river, in hopes to find a place to stay. They have had 15 minutes to scavange a grocery store for food, and low and behold, they come across an empty warehouse with “Sanctuary” written on the side.

Anyway. Slightly annoying already. Next, they go inside, and run around, the two burly carpenter guys swear at everyone, and they find bedrooms, bathrooms, a bunch of cars, power tools in boxes, a huge truck — things are looking pretty ok for these disaster survivors. And then, finally, something goes wrong. The bathrooms are broken! Of course, they find a way to flush toilets by pouring water down them until they flush.

The show continues like this for a while, stopping every once and a while to get attacked, get food stolen, and eventually decide to build an escape vehicle. The previous owner, Andre, comes back to take over the warehouse and there is an epic battle in which no one gets hurt, and you get to see huge scary guys get electrocuted and clip on oiled down floors. But they escape, and there’s a big car explosion since they make a flamethrower, which is kind of fun. They go to an escape place they hear about over a message sent, and right before the end, Joey, one of the scary burly men decides LA is his city [come on, it’s the end of the show!] and stays behind to “rebuild” it. Fun fun.

All in all, The Colony was fun, but I fully believe that this topic needs to stay in the realm of films, fictional tv shows and books. It’s just impossible to do a realistic apocolypse reality show without the scary zombie people!